Where did my life go?
by mcobsessed
Summary: Post episode 309. Burtina? Not sure of a plot yet, but it's forming. PLZ REVIEW!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: What just happened?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy, no matter how much I wished I was Shondra Rhimes or her relivite since she gets to work w/ Patrick Demspey EVERYDAY!!!! So w/o futher aduio:**

Christina stood there, staring at the door. What was she supposed to do? Where was she supposed to go? Sighing she knocked softly on the door.

"Go away,"

"Burke-"

The door was wrenched open

"You DRAGGED me across the line. You CONVINCED me that MY hand was fine. YOU took over my conscious and took the driver's seat. YOU were the attending and I was the intern. Now because of YOU my carrer is over. So no Christina we're NOT going to talk about this. I threw away Preston Burke and became Christina Yang. I became someone who I am NOT. I became someone who made up stories to proctect themselves. I became DEPENDENT on you. The OLD Preston Burke was dependent on NO one and now he's dependent on YOU! A snob, lusty, 'all-she-cares-about-is-her-self" intern. Now I'm independent. No job and no one to comfort me. No hosptial will take me now because of YOU. Now YOU get to go!"

The door slammed in her face again and she heard him flop on the bed. Tears were streaming down her face. She turned towards the door, took one last look of the apartment and left. She walked out of her life and her world. She knew he was right but wasn't _she_ right for telling the Chief? Of course she should of told him earlier but she at least told him. But it was too late. She had lost her life to someone she loved. He had changed her and had opened her world up but she ruined it. She ruined her chance of becoming the greatest cardio-therastic surgeon there was because of a secret. Now her life was over and she had no where to go.

**_A/N: Don't know what to say excpet to PLZ REVIEW!!!!_**


	2. What Just Happened?

**Ch. 2: What do you mean it's over?**

**I would like to dedicate this to my beta: Jesse's Quidera304! I LUV YA and i'm enjoying ur fic!!**

"MEREDITH GET THE DOOR!!!"

"YOU GET IT!!! I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!"

"NO YOU'RE NOT…OH FINE I'LL GET IT!"

Izzy crawled out of bed and stumbled down the stairs. It was midnight and she wanted her sleep since she was going to have a double shift tomorrow.  
"Do you have any idea what time it is-Christina?"

"H-Hey Izzy, is Meredith here?"

"Uh, ya sure hold on a sec. MER IT'S FOR YOU! Uh, make your self-comfortable Christina,"  
Izzy gestured her into the living room, still obviously confused.

"Izzy do you have any idea what time it-What the hell is she doing here?" demanded George coming down the stairs.

Christina didn't take any notice of him as she sat down on the couch. Soon Meredith stumbled down the stairs being closely followed by Derek.

"Izzy you are aware that as doctors we need our sleep so we can save people right?" muttered Derek.

"Well tell that to Christina," snapped Izzy.

"Christina?"

Izzy pointed towards the figure on the couch. Meredith gave Izzy a quizzical look, but all she did was shrug. Meredith made her way across the foyer and sat down next to Christina.

"Well if any of you don't mind, I'm going back to bed," declared George annoyed. No one took notice of him so he climbed up the stairs and slammed his door shut. At the sound of the door slamming, Christina burst into tears. This surprised everyone, especially Derek.

"I-I'll make some coffee" he offered as he made his way to the kitchen. Meredith watched him go and turned back to Christina.  
"Oh Christina, what happened?" she cooed.

Christina just shook her head and collapsed in her pile of tears. Meredith put her arms around her friend and held her. Christina shifted into Meredith's arms and just laid there crying. She didn't care what everyone thought of her. She didn't care that they were shocked that Christina Yang was crying in their living room. All she wanted was someone to hold her. She wanted Burke, but he didn't want her. She screwed up and now she would have to live with herself, which at that moment she couldn't. Christina felt the gentle touch of Meredith doing small circles on her back just like Burke did. The thought of Burke just made her cry harder. She heard Derek come back into the room and set the coffee down on the table but she didn't want coffee, she wanted to be home, in her bed sleeping next to the man she loved.

"Christina….what…what happened?" Meredith whispered.

Christina sat up and looked Meredith in the eye. She saw compassion and devotion. She looked into Meredith's blue grey eyes and saw Burke's touch in them. She couldn't stand to look at those eyes. Christina turned away and let the last of the tears fall.  
"Chris…you're going to have to tell us…sooner or later. You can't go on like this. T-Talking about it always makes you feel better," attempted Izzy.

"WHAT? Talking about how Burke left me will make me feel better? Talking about how I screwed up our relationship by trying to convince myself that I could make his hand better? Talk about how the man I love just slammed the door in my face? Talk about how Bailey keeps treating my life crap and George too? Sorry Izzy, but there is not way I'm talking about ANYTHING!"

Christina collapsed again in Meredith's arms, crying even harder. Meredith looked up at, and saw each of them wearing the same expression as the next; shock. The only other time they've seen her like this was when Burke left her when she lost the baby. But this was different. This time she didn't lose a baby. This time she ruined the relationship herself, but none of them wanted to admit it. Suddenly Derek grabbed his coat and walked out. Hearing the door shut made Meredith jump. She knew he was going to one of two places. Either to the ferryboats to beat himself up about not seeing this coming or to knock some sense into Burke. Either way scared Meredith. She didn't want Derek to hurt himself and she didn't want him to cause anymore trouble. Staring at the door, Meredith could feel Christina fall apart. She didn't know what to do. Her best friend who was more competitive than anyone, who never showed fear or worry was now crying into her lap. Meredith didn't know what to do except stare at the door and hope that the sky would stop falling on everyone's lives.

---

"PRESTON BURKE IF YOU DON'T OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW, I'LL FORCE IT OPEN!"

Derek stood at the door of Burke's apartment. He didn't know what he was doing here, but he couldn't stand to see Meredith's best friend and one of the best interns fall apart on his girl friend's couch. He couldn't handle it. Suddenly the apartment door opened

"Shepherd do you have any idea what time it is?"  
"Do you have any idea where Christina is?"

This question astonished Burke.

"N-no and I don't care,"

Derek rolled his eyes as he stepped past Burke and into the apartment.

"Fine, just c'mon in. Can I make you any coffee while I'm at it?" questioned Burke sarcastically.

Derek turned towards Burke and gave him a look.

"How can you say that you don't care about her? You love her!"

"You mean I used to love her. I-"

"PRESTON LISTEN TO YOUR SELF! How can you say that you don't love her when she's over at Meredith's house crying her eyes out? How can you say that you don't care about her when she carried YOU'R baby for a month! Preston you care and you love her just as much as I care and love Meredith!"  
Burke stood in the doorway staring at Derek.

"You know what Shepherd this is why I didn't stay friends with you. You have no idea what my life is like. You have no idea what I'm going through. YOU weren't shot and watched your girl friend walk away. YOU weren't forced to stay home and do suture after suture ON A CHICKEN! YOU weren't forced to come back to do surgery after surgery with your girlfriend who was actually doing the surgery for you. YOU weren't given the job as Chief and have it snatched away because YOUR girl friend finally cracked. YOU'RE not shunned from every hospital because word was already gotten around how you made up stories about your surgeries. So no Derek YOU'RE wrong. You have NO idea what I'm going through. YOU cleared me for surgery, which made Christina, think that I was ready. So as far as I'm concerned this is YOUR fault. So if you don't mind…LEAVE!"

Burke pushed Derek out of the room and into the hallway where he slammed the door in his face. Derek stood there looking at the door. He finally understood why Burke was the way he was. He was an independent bastard that if things didn't go right, he would collapse. Derek took one last look at the door and walked down the hall, planning never to speak another word to Burke again, unless he fixes things…and fast.

**_A/N: OMG FINALLY!!!!! I've been wanting to post this FOREVER and finally the gods have answered my prayers!!!!! OMG!!!!! okay...so as you probably can tell I am so excited that I get to post this. Make me even more excited by clicking that review button down there. 3 (or more!!! P) reviews gets u a new chapter!!!!!!!_**


	3. Everyone's Ass belongs to Someone

Ch. 3???

Christina sat in the intern locker room staring up at the lockers. She had a dead look on her face and wouldn't react to anyone. She looked like Izzy when she was mourning over Denny but worse…much much worse.

"Christina…Bailey is going to be in here, you might want to change into your scrubs you know…so she won't be on the warpath,"

Christina looked up at Meredith who was sitting next to her, already in her light blue scrubs. Christina looked up at Meredith who was sitting next to her, already in her light blue scrubs. Meredith saw a blank and lonely stare and in Christina's eyes. She only saw that look in her own eyes, not the eyes her stubborn, pushy, yet loving best friend. Looking into Meredith's eyes, Christina was brought back from her daydreams and into reality. Suddenly, Christina was brought back from her daydreams and into reality. She looked around to see all the interns staring at her.

"What? What are you guys staring at? Shouldn't you be stealing the good cases by now? STOP STARING AT ME!"

The interns scattered as her friends just shrugged and exited the room. Christina closed her eyes and sighed. She had no clue what she was turning into and she was scared. Scared wasn't something that normally described her, but lately that seemed like her favorite adjective. Not getting up from her spot, she continued to stare at the lockers, not wanting to listen to other people's problems. The locker room door opened and then slammed, but Christina took no notice.

"What the hell are you doing? Once you walk into this hospital your ass is MINE. You don't sit here staring at lockers, you go out there and you stare at patients! Now get up and get dressed or else you won't see an OR until the end of your residency!"

Bailey turned, but saw that Christina didn't even budge.

"If you don't leave that bench in the next 5 seconds I'll whoop your ass so hard that you won't even be able to stand let alone sit! And last time I checked standing comes in handy when you're in the _OR_."

Christina stared at Bailey; about to snap back at her, but she instead stood, opened her locker and started to change. Bailey lingered for a few seconds, gave Christina a last cold stare and walked out, making sure she slammed the door behind her.

---

"Dr. Bailey, I need to check on my father, I shall be excused for a while,"

Before Bailey could argue, George was already down the hall. Before Bailey could argue, George was already down the hall. Shaking her head, she turned around and looked at the remaining interns. They stared back at her with eyes of a five-year-old on Christmas morning, each one hoping to get into a surgery. "Oh okay uh…Alex and Izzy you're with Sloan, Grey with Shepherd, special request, and Yang you get the pleasure of being with me. Oh and if any of you see O'Malley tell him that I need to see him…STAT!"

Each of the interns nodded and scattered, all but Christina.

"You will stick with me at all times unless I give you something to do and let me tell you now that something will not be fun. No surgeries until you either you tell me why you erased my name, you prove that you can be in an OR, or if a doctor requests you and if that happens you will run and get my consent and there will be a 90 chance that I say no. Are we clear?"

Christina nodded at Bailey and they started to walk down the hall. As they through the hospital with Bailey fuming and Christina looked into each of the passing patient's windows. She saw each of the doctors tell their patients that they would be having a surgery and either it was simple or complicated. Each patient Christina hoped would be hers but wasn't. Each one getting an unknowledgeable intern instead of her. Lost in her thoughts, Christina walked right into Bailey. She whipped around and gave her a cold hard stare, and Christina realized where they were; down in the pit. Christina looked around and saw at least 20 patients with bloody hands and faces but nothing really serious.

"Sutures. Each of these people needs sutures and your going to do them. Page me when you are done." Bailey turned and left, leaving Christina staring at the suture-needing patients. She looked back and saw that Bailey had already left. Going over to the supply closet, she got out the suture kit and prepared for a long day.

--

"So what's up with Christina?"  
Derek and Meredith were walking down the hall, heading to a patient's room. Meredith looked at him and saw that he wasn't kidding.

"Why do you ask?"

"Well let's see she spent the night at our house last night and-"

"_Our _house?"

Derek stopped and looked at her

"Yes _our _house,"

"Since when did you start paying the bills and rent?"

"George and Izzy pay rent?"

Meredith rolled her eyes and laughed as she continued down the hall. Derek, catching up with her, tried to get more out of her.

"So…what's up with your 'person'?"

"Since when did I tell you that she was my person?"

"I have my McDreamy ways,"

Derek flashed her a smile and he opened the patient's door.

"Good morning Mr. Romusk this is the lovely and _talented _Dr. Grey. She will be prepping you for your surgery today,"

Derek flashed her another smile and she rolled her eyes, knowing that, that night she wasn't going to get much sleep since she was dealing with a 'no-self-control' neurosurgeon and a 'best-friend-in-need-of-a-'person'' crisis.

---

George entered his father's room to see Burke checking over him

"Dr. Burke what are you doing here?"

Burke turned around to see George coming toward him, with a death stare in his eyes.

"I should be asking you the same question O'Malley,"

George went over and stood by his dad

"I was just seeing how my dad is doing, Dr. Burke. He is doing okay right?"

Burke chuckled.

"Oh course, O'Malley. Your dad is in good hands,"

"I wouldn't be so sure of that, Dr. Burke, considering that one of your hands is not that great. That's why I hired Dr. Hanh for my father. "

Burke stared at George for a second before proceeding.

"Well it's doing fine now O'Malley. But don't worry nothing is going to happen to your dad. Dr. Hanh is a very good surgeon and she will take good care of him"

George nodded as he walked over to his dad, beginning to check his vitals

"Sir, his-"

"Georgie if Dr. Burke says I'm fine, then I'm fine. Stop worrying. Dr. Burke and Dr. Hanh are going to take good care of me so you won't have to."

"Dad I don't mind-"

"George you do mind. Just go back to work and everything will be just fine,"

George was about to say something before his mom cut in.

"Georgie, listen. Your dad will be fine. Go back to work and we'll let you know when anything changes."

"Your mother is right, O'Malley. Go find Bailey and tell her to put you on a case. I'll page you if I need you."

George nodded and left the room. His first stop wasn't to go find Bailey, but to find Christina and tell to get Burke away from his father because the last thing he wanted was him dead because of a hand tremor.


	4. All Hell as Broken Loose

**Ch. 4: All Hell as Broken Loose**

"There. You're done. Go over there and have your parents fill out some paperwork," Christina said, pointing to an empty chair in the waiting room. "Also, don't forget to come back in five days to get these things taken out. And next time don't be jumping off a ramp and over 10 bikes."

The little kid jumped off from the table and ran over to his parents, showing them his newly acquired stitches. Christina rolled her eyes and looked around. After spending all morning in on scut duty, she was finally done. Getting up from her chair, she stretched. She seriously wanted to kill Bailey at that moment. Christina started to walk towards the nurse's station when George caught her eye.

"What the hell are you doing down here? Shouldn't you be with your dad or ordering people around?"

"Tell Burke to stay away from my dad!" George gritted through his teeth ignoring her.

Christina looked at him.

"No. You do it, since you're all concerned about his hand. You tell him up front. You haven't had a problem lately telling people off, so you shouldn't have a problem with this."

Christina started to walk away but was pulled back by George

"You tell Burke to stay away from my dad,"

"Bambi, I'mwarning you. If you don't let go of me, you're going to be sitting on that table over there, needing stitches and I'm not sewing you up," she whispered.

George let go of her arm, but kept his cold stare.

"You really need to get laid."

Christina brushed past him, but he grabbed her again. She was about to swing around and hit him when Bailey came down.

"YANG! O'MALLEY! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING?"

Christina and George dropped their arms.

"Yang, Dr. Hahn requested someone and since everyone else has a case, and I said you, but since you seem to be using your hands for something else….I think I will reconsider."

"No Dr. Bailey, I'm only using my hands to…heal."

Bailey eyed her.

"Fine, go. She's in O'Malley's room."

Christina ran down the hall, excited that she would get into a surgery. Bailey turned to George.

"Aren't you supposed to be somewhere? Or do I need to give you something to do?"

George turned around and started to follow Christina, towards his dad's room, leaving Bailey shaking her head, on the verge of exploding.

---

Meredith, Izzy, Alex, and Christina entered 'Really Old Guy's' room with their lunch in hand, each of them taking their normal spot.

"So, Christina, you haven't been kicked out of the program yet?"

"ALEX!"

"No, Meredith, it's fine. No, not yet, Alex, but I will be once I stick this fork in your thigh. This time for real!"

Alex rolled his eyes and dug in.

"Christina…"

"Meredith, if you keep on defending me, I'll stick this fork in _your_ thigh."

Meredith gave her a look and took a bite of her salad.

"Izzy thinks Christina needs a-"

"IZZY!"

Really Old Guy stirred and the room went quite, but he didn't wake. Suddenly the door opened to reveal George with his lunch. Once he saw who was in, he turned and walked the other way. Meredith stood up to go after him

"GEORGE….GEORGE WAIT!"

"Meredith, let him go. Obviously he doesn't want to be around us, since he's too good for us."

Meredith turned and faced Christina.

"Okay I've had it. You interrupted Derek and me so now I get a say in this…WITHOUT any interruptions. Number 1: You guys need to lay off of Christina. She was there for you guys, so now you're going to be there for her…"

"Meredith-"

"NUMBER 2: We will all lay off George too. His dad is in the hospital, so he's going through a rough time. We won't pick fights with him and we won't say anything sarcastic. We will be supportive of him and be there for him everystep of the way. And Number 3…We will all be there for each other. Whether for me when I'm dark and twisty; Christina when she's dark and twisty; George when he's stressed and picks a fight; for you, Izzy, when you're getting over some tough times; or you, Alex, when you need help. We are here for each other. We were put with the same resident for a reason and that wasn't TO PICK FIGHTS! Now one more insulting or sarcastic word out of anyone's mouth andI will personally whoop your ass! ARE WE CLEAR NOW?"

The room was dead silent except for Really Old Guy's snores. Everyone was looking at Meredith in shock.

"Now, if you don't mind I'm going to go finish my lunch…in peace."

Meredith got up and left the room, heading towards Derek's office, leaving Izzy, Alex, and Christina in Really Old Guy's room. There was an awkward silence until Izzy spoke up.

"Sorry," she said, looking at Christina.

"Ya…I'm sorry too."

Christina looked at them like they were crazy.

"Uh…Thanks," she muttered as they went back to eating in silence.

---

Meredith found Derek in his office reviewing some labs. She knocked once then entered, tray in hand.

"Hey, mind if I eat here?"

Derek looked up to see a little puppy dog pout.

"How can I say no to such an irresistible face?"

Meredith smiled and kissed him deeply.

"Mmmm," he whined by Meredith pulled away.

"What are you working on, Dr. Shepherd?" she teased taking a bite of her salad.

"Oh, Mr. Romusk. If I do the surgery there is a good chance he will diebecause the tumor is on the temporal lobe, but if I don't, there is even a greater chance that he will die. He wants the surgery, but it will be tough."

Meredith looked at the computer screen, which had the man's brain on it. The tumor was fairly large and in a very difficult spot.

"So, what are you going to do?"

Derek sighed.

"Well, I have to do what the patient wants, and he wants the surgery. It will be long, hard, and a painful recovery."

"But will it be worth it?"

"If everything goes well then yes, it will be worth it."

"Well, Derek, I really don't see the problem here. You need to do the surgery. It's what he wants. You can't deny a patient's rights."

Derek closed his eyes.

"I know, Mer, but….I don't think I can do it."

Meredith slammed her salad down.

"Dammit, Derek! Wake up. You preformed surgery on the Chief, on Burke, and on thousands of other people! Why give up now?"

Derek stared at her.

"What's wrong with you?"

Meredith was taken back for a second by the question.

"Nothing, just…work. Do you need my help in the surgery?"

Derek smiled.

"It sure would help."

Meredith rolled her eyes but smiled.

"Then I'll be there. What time is the surgery?"

"Four,"

"Then I should go talk to Mr. Romusk. I'll see you in the OR?"

Derek nodded and Meredith left. He returned to the computer screen and stared at it for a second before making up his mind. Meredith was right, it was just another surgery. The guy would live and he would have the same gratifying feeling he had after every surgery. But even deciding that, he still had a feeling in the back of his mind that something was going to go wrong.

--

"Where's my cappuccino, Karev?"

Alex and Izzy found Sloan leaning against a nurse's station, looking through a chart. The two interns had just finished their lunch, and were heading back to running errands.

"You never said anything about a cappuccino," remarked Alex as he took he place beside Sloan.

"Oh I didn't? Sorry, well here you go. Teach Blondie here how I like it. Dry...bone dry,"

Izzy rolled her eyes

"You know I can report that as sexual harassment. It will just get you back on a pane to New York faster,"  
Mark smiled

"Feisty, that's how I like them,"

"You really are pushin it you know?"

Sloan laughed

"Just go get my cappuccino,"

He shooed them away and returned to his chart.

"How can you let him treat you like that Alex? So what if he's an attending, he can't do that to you,"

The two of them entered a crowded elevator

"It doesn't matter Izzy. He's the best plastic surgeon in the country. I rather be fetching cappuccino's for him then being on vagina squad,"

"I head that Karev,"

Izzy and Alex spun around to see Addison standing right behind them

"I hear you're having fun with Mark Sloan are you?"

The two interns nodded, but Addison didn't buy it.

"He's always been an ass, so get used to it. Unless….you want to come back to OBGYN Karev,"

Alex took a minute to consider the option, but decided against it

"No thank you Dr. Montgomery, plastics is my….passion,"

Addison shrugged as the elevator doors opened

"Suit your self Karev, but when ever you change your mind you know where to find me,"

Addison and about 5 other doctors left, leaving Alex, Izzy, and a nurse in the elevator. The doors closed again and the interns continued their conversation.

"You hesitated,"  
Alex looked at Izzy

"What?"

Izzy smiled

"You were going to take her up on the offer weren't you? You don't like plastics, you like being on the vagina squad,"

the doors opened again, and Izzy and Alex stepped out

"You're going crazy Izz. I've always loved plastics, and no way is some ass going to change that. Now c'mon, if we please him, we might actually get on a case,"

Alex sped towards the coffee cart in the lounge, leaving Izzy to ponder whom the real Alex was.

--

"Good afternoon Dr. Yang, glad you could join us,"

Christina entered Harry's room. It seemed as pact as ever, with George's brothers, his mom, all the monitors, and the two doctors, not to mention the nurse.

"It's my pleasure Dr. Hahn to be working with you. Thank you,"

Dr. Hahn nodded and returned to George's dad.

"Well like I was saying, your surgery is scheduled for this afternoon Mr. O'Malley. If all goes well, you will be out of here in the next week. Dr. Yang here will prep you and I will see you in the OR. Do you have any questions?"

Harry shook his head.

"Good, then I will turn you over to Dr. Yang,"

Dr. Hanh smiled and left the room followed by George's mom. As the two talked out in the hall, Christina began all the blood work. After a few minutes of a awkward silence, Harry spoke up

"I'm not going to die am I?"

Christina looked up from the IV line and into his eyes. They were full of care and love, just like Burke's.

"N-No. This is a routine procedure that doctors perform practically everyday. But, there is always risks with surgery, but for this procedure they are low,"

"Good, because I don't know what Georgie would do if I ever died,"

Christina smiled

"You're in good hands Mr. O'Malley. Dr. Hanh is a great surgeon,"

Harry nodded and drifted off to sleep. Christina continued her work, until she was interrupted again

"How's he doing?"

Christina looked up to see George standing at the door

"You're not supposed to be here," she spat

"How's he doing?" he said ignoring Christina.

"Fine George. I'm just prepping him for surgery. Now go before Bailey finds you here,"  
But George move

"His potassium is getting pretty low. Bet you didn't see that did you?"

Christina threw down her pen

"George if you don't get out of this room right now, I swear I will call Bailey and security!"

George glared at her

"You wouldn't,"

Christina walked over to the phone

"Watch me,"

George was about to say something, but was interrupted by his mom

"Georgie? What are you doing here? I thought I heard Dr. Bailey saying to stay away because you were becoming very emotional,"

George gave him mom a hug

"I was just checking on him mom, don't worry I was just leaving,"

George turned and glared at Christina before leaving.

**_A/N: I would of had this up sooner...but my beta wouldn't beta it (hmmmmmmm i wonder who that is...) jkjk. Real quick...does ne 1 know what George's dad's name is plz tell me. I couldn't remember if it was Harry or Henry. Ne way...as u could tell no twins...didn't follow the direction i was goingg. READ, LOVE, REVIEW!!! (3+ gets u another chapter)_**


	5. Pointing Fingers

**Ch. 5: Pointing Fingers**

"Well, thank you Dr. Yang, for telling me this. You did the right thing, you're excused,"

Christina gave the Chief a nod and exited the office. Looking down the hall to the exam room where Derek and Burke were, she sighed. She should have gone with him, but instead she ran to the Chief. Now Burke would be even more upset with Christina that he would now lose his Chief-of Surgery position, that he never knew he had. Sighing, she turned back towards the elevator. Why didn't she go with Burke and Derek? She should have, but didn't. Instead she went running to the Chief to tattle tale on her and him like a little kindergartner. At that moment, the realization of reality came to Christina. It was her idea to rob the bank, not Burke's. She wanted him back to normal and so did he, but she wanted it more. She had pushed them to cross the line together, not him. Turning back, she ran for the examination room door, stopping right infront of it. Staring at the handle, she took a deep breath and opened the door. There was Derek, running tests on Burke's arm. He was just seated there, with a dazed look on his face. Hearing the door open brought both of them back into reality.

"Dr. Yang?" said Derek, quite puzzled.

"Christina…what are you doing here?" whispered Burke. Christina looked into his big brown eyes. They looked hurt and broken.

"I'm…sorry," she whispered walking over to him, but Burke shook his head.

"Nothing can replace it Christina. We crossed the line together as a team and now we must accept what we did was wrong,"

Christina rolled her eyes.

"Will you just stop for a second and forget about that, and listen to me for once?" she snapped. Derek looked taken back but Burke just nodded.

"Christina…" Derek tried to cut her off but she ignored him.

"You were right. I pulled you across the line. I made you get back into surgery before you were ready but you should have seen you're self-Burke. Sitting on a couch throwing a stupid ball back and forth, not caring about your life ahead of you. You needed to come back, maybe not that soon, but you needed to. I should have listened to you. I should have listened when you tried to tell me about the tremors. But I didn't and now look where we are. You're going to have another surgery, Chief is furious and-"

"THE CHIEF KNOWS?" yelled both Derek and Burke. Christina cursed under her breath.

"Uh shit…ya. I just kinda, I'll be going now,"

Christina headed for the door but Derek was too quick.

"Oh no, you don't get to go to the Chief, tell us about it, then leave. What did you tell him?" he questioned

Christina looked away from Derek and into Burke's eyes. Those deep brown eyes looked pleadingly at her; but then again they looked like they were betrayed.

"He wants to meet with you two, after the examination," she whispered, still looking at Burke. Burke's face suddenly tensed. She saw this coming, and tried to act before he spoke

"He was going to offer you Chief," she said suddenly.

The room went dead quite. Burke's face relaxed but turned away from her while Derek was still staring at her.

"Christina…" he was at a loss for words

"Why?" came Burke's voice. He was staring at the wall on the other side of the room.

"Burke-"

"Why Christina?" he said again. Christina was startled.

"W-Why what?"

Burke swung around

"Why did you go to him? Why did you choose now? Why the hell does he want me to be Chief? Why not him?" he said violently, pointing at Derek

"Burke I-"

"OUT!"

"W-what?"

"YOU HEARD ME! OUT!" he screamed again

Christina turned, tears starting to run down her face, and ran out of the room. She could hear Burke yelling at Derek, but she didn't care. She ran as fast as she could, taking the stairs two at a time. She didn't know where she was running to, but she needed to run. Wrenching open the hospital doors, Christina ran out into the pouring rain, not caring that it was pounding at her face, drenching her from head to food. Finally stopping, she looked around. Nurses for the night shift were staring at her while they climbed up to the hospital. She just stood there, in the middle of the walkway, staring out into no-where. She slowly turned back and looked at the hospital. She couldn't go back. She couldn't face the Chief, Burke, Derek or anyone else tomorrow, or the next day. She didn't care of Bailey was going to turn her in, she couldn't stand it anymore. Christina Yang, the girl who didn't care about anyone else but herself and surgeries. The same girl who climbed to the top of her class at Stanford with no problem, now stood scared of the world. What the hell did Seattle Grace do to her?

---

"Where is she?"

"Who cares!"

"GEORGE!"

"I'm starting to get worried about her,"

"Like I said, who cares?"

"GEORGE!"

Both Meredith and Izzy were standing at the window, looking for Christina. They weren't sure if she was going to go with Burke or come back here, but they were worried.

"Would you two stop-"

"NO!"

George looked at the two girls who were red in the face, giving him cold stares.

"What?" he asked

"How can you live with your self?" snapped Izzy as she ran upstairs, fuming.

George watched her go, shocked.

"What's up with her?" he asked. Meredith rolled her eyes

"She freakin saved your dad's life George and you still say you don't care about her? What is wrong with you?"

Meredith got up and followed Izzy, leaving George alone in the living room, staring at the spot in which Meredith and Izzy sat. He knew Meredith was right, but why give in that easy? George was a changed man, and for the better.

_See I told you! No one thinks you changed for the better_

"Oh shut up. They just need to take time to get used to me,"

Uh huh, and David took some time to get used to Goliath 

"What?"

_Never mind. _

"Everyone has been acting weird latley. Everything is about Christina this and Christina that. She's become a new Meredith,"

"I HEARD THAT!"

_Uh huh and it's not like you've been parading around barking orders at everyone either _

"I haven't!"

Uh huh, suuure buddy. If you say so 

"I HAVEN'T!"

The phone rang, interrupting the fight between George and his conscience. He was about to jump up and get the phone, but realized Christina was probably on the other end, so he just in case it was Christina, so he let it ring.

Once

Twice

Three time. Finally he couldn't take the ringing any more.

"Hello?"  
"George?"

Just as he had feared, it was Christina on the other line.

"What do you want?" he spat

"Is-is Meredith t-there?"

George rolled his eyes

"MEREDITH…CHRISTINA..PHONE…GET IT OR ELSE I'M HANGING UP ON HER!"  
"uh, thanks,"

"Whatever,"

George heard Meredith pick up the phone so he slammed it down. He didn't care if Christina saved his father or not,

You do care. So why don't you make up with her 

"I thought you went away,"

_I'm always here buddy, I'm your conscience. _

"Whatever,"

How do you live with yourself 

"How do I live with you?"

"George?"

George looked up to see Meredith and Izzy coming down the stairs.

"What?"

"Were you…talking to yourself?" laughed Izzy

"NO!"

"Whatever,"  
George rolled his eyes

"What do you guys want?"  
"ARG! GEORGE O'MALLEY I SWEAR! HOW THE HELL DO YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELF? YOUR FATHER GETS ADMITTED AND YOU START BECOMING THIS MONSTER! YOU START BARKING AT CHRISTINA, AND US TOO! WHAT IS UP WITH YOU? IS THERE SOMETHING WE SHOULD KNOW ABOUT BECAUSE IF THERE ISN'T, I'M SURE ABOUT TO PUNCH THE HELL OUT OF YOU!"

George stood there, looking at Meredith. She was red in the face from yelling.

"I haven't been-"

"Oh my gosh George yes you have! You've become a Christina when she first started out here! Seriously, if it's about your dad, everything will be fine. All he needs is to undergo Chemo now and he'll be fine,"

George looked away from them

"It-It's not my dad,"

Izzy and Meredith looked at him

"Then what is it?" asked Izzy

George looked at them

"It's Burke. I saw his hand shake. I mean if you two saw that with your dad in the hospital, wouldn't you be worried? Then Christina is over there trying to cover it up! You know how many lines they've crossed and how many rules they've broken? I was going to let Christina keep on doing this! That's why I hired Dr. Hanh. I just want the best for my dad. Wouldn't you? And Izzy I'm sorry about that remark I made. I really am,"

Izzy looked at him

"Wait, didn't you say this wasn't about your dad?"

George looked at her

"FINE IT'S ABOUT MY DAD!!! BUT ALSO ABOUT CHRISTINA AND BURKE!"

"We understand George. We really do. I mean look what I have to live with, an Alzheimer's mother who is barley lucid,"

"And the love of my life died. Which, I can't accept your apology…not yet,"

George nodded.

"But there is no reason for you to be acting like this," continued Meredith, "You need to go up to Bailey and apologize tomorrow and Callie too-"

"Why should I apologize to her? She SLEPT with SLOAN!"

Meredith sighed

"Yes, but George, give her a break. Please?"

"Why do you care about her?"

There was a knock at the front door, and Meredith got up to answer it , knowing it was Christina.

"George…" she said getting up and walking into foyer.

Greeting and fussing over Christina's wetness, Meredith's voice trailed from the foyer to upstiars, with Christina's in tow.

"I'm not apologizing to her," said George as the door shut.

Izzy sighed and got up, tired of arguing with George. George sat in the quite living room staring at the wall.

"I am NOT apologizing to her," he said for the last time, but this time, he wasn't so sure he believed himself.

---

"Burke I can't believe you would do this to me! To Derek. TO THE HOSTPIAL!"

Derek and Burke were sitting and the Chief's office. Burke was staring at the wall, taking in the Chief's words.

"WELL?"

Both men looked up at the Chief.

"Chief…" started Derek, warning him

"NO DEREK! DON'T 'CHIEF' ME! YOU TWO KEPT THIS BEHIND MY BACK FOR TOO LONG! AND NOW, I WANT THAT DAMN HAND FIXED OR ELSE…"

The room went quite. They knew whatever threat the Chief knew he wasn't going to full fill it. Finally, he sighed.  
"All I want is my wife back, to retire, and to get away from his hospital. I've been here for too long. Please, can you just tell me what you two are planning to do about this?"  
For the first time Burke spoke up.

"I've made it pretty clear to Shepherd that I don't want another surgery, but if that's the only thing that will fix the tremors then…I guess I'll have another one,"

Derek smiled and the Chief sighed a sigh of relief.

"But…" he continued "Only if your positive that you can fix it. The tremors I mean and that my hand will go back to normal,"

Derek nodded

"I can do this,"

Burke nodded.

"I guess that's settled then. Shep I need you to schedule a surgery for tomorrow. You know the drill, no gallery, 1 resident, and 1 intern and a certain scrub nurses. I don't need this being a new rumor in this rumor mill I'm running," explained the Chief. Derek nodded.

"Wait…tomorrow? You want the surgery tomorrow?"

The chief looked like he was going to blow up again

"Yes tomorrow! I want that hand fixed so it can get back to work! But you do know after all of this, the Chief position is out of the question Burke,"

Burke nodded.

"Okay, then I'll see you too tomorrow. You are dismissed,"

Both men got up and left the office.

"Burke I'm sorry I put you through all this trouble," said Derek as the walked back to the Attending locker room. Burke shook his head.

"I just don't understand how one of the best damn neurosurgeons makes a mistake like this,"

Derek looked taken back

"Burke, every body is different. You of all people should know that! I've done stuff like these millions of times. You knew the risks and I knew the risks. You can't blame this on me,"

Burke opened the door

"I just hope you live up to your words this time,"

Derek looked stunned but didn't say anything. Getting dressed in the quietness, both men left the locker room and headed down to the parking lot without saying another word to each other. Derek didn't know what to do. He knew he'd have Bailey and Meredith scrub in on this, but what if Burke was right?

_Of course he's not right, like you've said you've done this a million times. _

"Yes but…"

Yes but nothing. You go in there, repair the clot, get out, his tremors go away, and your lives return to normal.

Looking over to Burke's car, he saw him having trouble buckling the seat belt. Shaking his head he climbed into his own car and drove away, knowing no matter what would happen, Burke wasn't going to let him forget it.

**_A/N: okay 1. Yes it may seem like the characters are talking and yelling themselves...well they are! They're just having an internal fight with the conscience. I know they don't do this on the show, but I thought it might be cool to show it here. 2. Yes the alrets are down, and now happily there are back up. I don't know if you've got them yet, but I did post ch. 3 and 4. 3. NEW EPISODES START ON THURSDAY...there will hopefully be an update after that, b/c it shows after Burke's surgery. This ch. takes place the night after the last episode w/ a few twists b/c of the way i wrote it. As u can c..the mtg is nite not in the morning. George's dad is fine, and the rest will follow after the show. That's it for now...expect a new ch. soon. remember 3+ reviews makes me happy and begin writing. _**

**_LIVE, LOVE, REVIEW!!!_**


	6. Lean On Me

**Ch. 6: Lean On Me**

**_A/N: Real quick this takes place rt after the last episode with the expection of the 17 yr old girl. Also the italics are Christina's conscience and the italic bold is her talking inside her head. ENJOY!!!!_**

"Hey Meredith are you…okay?"

Meredith entered her kitchen the next morning fuming mad. Going over to the refrigerator she wrenched the door open and grabbed some milk before slamming the door again.

"Okay, little angry much this morning?" asked Izzy amused.

"When did he leave?" she hissed. Izzy put down her paper and stared at Meredith.

"When did who leave Meredith?"

"DEREK!"

Izzy looked away trying not to laugh

"IZZY!"

"Okay okay Mer, calm down. He tried he really did, but then about 2 o'clock he snuck out and drove home. He wanted to tell you that he was very very sorry and that well, he needed his sleep for some big surgery today,"

Meredith rolled her eyes as she poured her self-some coffee.

"Oh he's going to be sorry when I get done with him,"

Izzy laughed going back to her paper. After taking a few sips of her coffee, Meredith looked around.

"Where's George?"

"He stayed the night at the hospital again to make sure his dad is alright," said Izzy in a monotone voice from behind the paper. Pouring the rest of her coffee into a thermos Meredith headed for the front door

"You coming?" she called.

"I'll be there later," answered Izzy still reading the paper.

Shaking her head Meredith headed for the car wondering how to get Derek back.

---

Christina sat in the intern locker room dead tired. She was up half the night staring at Burke who, in return, was staring at her. Taking a long and deep yawn, she closed her eyes enjoying the piece and quite of the room.

"I'M GOING TO KILL DEREK!"

"Nice to see you too," mumbled Christina opening her eyes "You destroyed my nap,"

Looking away from her locker combination Meredith looked at Christina

"Something wrong? Or was I keeping up the whole FREAKIN CITY WITH MY SNORING?"

Christina looked at Meredith strangely

"Derek hasn't been sleeping with me ever since we met because my 'snoring' keeps him up. Asshole,"  
"Well at least he's talking to you,

"Who said I was talking to him?"

Christina rolled her eyes

"Well Meredith if you're going to kill him, I think that might involve some talking or yelling…or both,"

Meredith smiled a fake smiled

"Thanks,"

Christina walked over to her locker and opened it.

"Why did we have to get in relationships with our bosses?" asked Christina hiding her head in her locker.

"Actually our bosses boss,"

"Ok don't go all hypethical on me,"

Meredith slammed her locker shut and clipped her pager onto her scrubs.

"Well, I still have some time before I go and kill Derek so I think I can do a quick therapy session. What's wrong with your life?"

"I slept the night in Burke's room and we spent half the staring at each other,"

Meredith sighed

"Christina-"

"Meredith there is a better chance of you having sex with McDreamy tonight, wait no that's not a good one. Hold on…ok, there is a better chance of McDreamy spending a whole night in bed with you than for me to go talk and ask Burke how his hand is,"

Meredith rolled her eyes

"Then how am I supposed to help you if you won't talk to him? AND NO I will not ask Derek! I'm going to go kill him now remember so I can't ask him if I'm killing him"

Christina rolled her eyes

"Ya good luck with that,"  
Glaring at Christina Meredith ran out the door. Christina sat back down on the bench and thought of what she was going to do. After a few minutes the interns started to filter in and Christina couldn't hear her self think. Getting up, she headed for the door only to turn back around and headed back towards her locker acting like she forgot something.

Go, go talk to him 

_**NO!**_

Why not? 

_**Because he doesn't want anything to do with me!**_

If that was true don' t you think he would of kicked you out last night? 

_**No…yes…uh I DON"T KNOW!**_

You still love him SHUT UP 

"ROUNDS PEOPLE! C'MON GET A MOVE ON!"

Christina was pulled back into reality by the sound of Bailey's voice. She just hoped that she got on a good case that would take her mind off of Burke.

--

"Dr. Bailey may I speak to you?"

Bailey and the interns were about to enter George's dad's room when the Chief stopped them.

"Sure Chief. Uh, the rest of you go uh…"

"They need to be here too Dr. Bailey,"

Bailey looked up and the Chief and saw sorrow in his face.

"I need you guys to keep this on the down low for a while. This is pretty serious,"  
The interns exchanged glances

"Harold O'Malley died this morning at 2:51 a.m. from multiple organ failure. His family is taking it pretty hard. I sent Dr. O'Malley home for the day but he didn't move. All of them are in there now. So if you could, skip this room for the time being and if you guys could go in there later one at a time I would really appreciate it. Thank you,"

The Chief nodded at them walked away from the silent group. Tears were running down Meredith and Izzy's face. Christina was staring off into space and Alex was shaking his head. Bailey took a minute to collect her self then proceeded

"Okay well you heard the Chief, we'll come back later. If you see O'Malley in the hall, don't go all medical on him. Comfort him but don't treat him like a baby. Now if we're all ready, lets continue with our rounds,"

Walking down the hall, Bailey, Alex, and Christina walked away from the door. Izzy and Meredith stayed and looked inside the window. Mrs. O'Malley was crying hysterically and George was comforting her while his brothers were leaning again the wall shaking their heads.

"GREY STEVENS!"

Taking one last look inside the room Izzy and Meredith jogged towards the group, not getting the sight of George's family out of their minds.

---

"George!"

George walked out of the bathroom with red and puffy eyes. He was about to head down to the coffee cart to pick up some coffee for his family and head back to his dad's room. He turned around to see Callie running towards him. Starting to walk away, he felt her tug at his arm.

"Hey George, how's…. Oh no,"

George looked away

"George I'm so sorry," she whispered. George shook his head.

"I don't know what happened. I mean he was fine wasn't he? They proceeded with the surgery so that means…"

George couldn't finish his sentence. Callie put her arm around George

"I'm sorry," she whispered again. A lone tear ran down her cheek.

"You-You wanna come in with us? I mean with my family? We're about to say…"

Callie shook her head

"No it's okay. Your dad just…passed away. You should spend it with your family,"

"But…you are my family,"

Callie looked up at George and smiled.

"Really?"

George nodded

"You, Izzy, and Meredith. You may not be my immediate family, but you're the second best thing. You were always there for me when I needed you. I was going to invite Meredith and Izzy in, but then I thought of you. You were there all throughout out his admittance even though you had patients. You cared about my family and I think that you should be there with us while we…"

Callie nodded

"I would love to come with you George,"  
Putting his arm around her, the two of them headed down the hall. George didn't care if anyone saw him and Callie together, he was just happy that he had someone to lean on.

**_A/N: Ok...i don't mean to sound really mean...but i've gotten all of 3 commetns on the last 3 chapters. As in...like 1 per chapter. C'mon ppl...does this mean u don't like it? I NEED TO KNOW SO I CAN CANCEL IT OR ELSE I'M JUST WASTING MY TIME!!!! I 3 writing but if u guys dont' like it...then i'll stop. THANK U!!! I 3 U GUYS!!!!_**

**_3+ reviews gets u a new chapter...;)_**


	7. Marry Me

**Ch. 7: Marry Me**

Who knew 2 words would cause this much trouble? Christina Yang sighed for the 100th time that day and twirled the engagement ring in her fingers. She couldn't believe it! After about a month of no talking to each other Christina had cracked and came out with this heart pouring, confessing, 'I'd hate to suck up to you but I am because I love you' speech and he replies with those two words. Closing her eyes she tried to picture her and him together. Forever. For the rest of their lives. It was a beautiful ring though. Nice clear cut diamond on intertwined bands. But why now? Why her? Why after all this time of the 'no talking because I hate you at the moment' he decides to ask her to marry him? How will this affect their career? How will people look at her? A first year surgical intern and she's married to an attending? But she did love him. That month was so difficult for her. Going home to an empty, quite, lonely house. Only stealing glances of each other. Then he comes out with the simplest yet hardest question that she could think of. Ask her to perform a PTCA with her eyes closed she'd say yes in a heartbeat. But say yes to the man who acted like she was nothing for a month. She needed more time. A soft murmur came from the table as Christina was pulled from her thoughts. Looking over at the table and saw that it was her cell phone ringing. Taking a quick glance at the caller ID she saw it was from Meredith. Sighing she picked it up.

"I'll call you back," answered Christina softly

"Christina."

"Meredith, I-I'll call you back,"

The line was quite.

"What happened?" asked Meredith sternly.

"What?"

"Christina, you haven't been this quite since, well, I don't know when but there is something definitely wrong."

Christina didn't know what do say. Meredith was her person. She was the one who she told that she was pregnant. Meredith was always there for Christina. But now would Burke have to become her person?

"Christina?"

"I got a ring."

"You got a ring…OH MY GOD!"

Christina sighed.

"Yes Meredith I got a ring."

"BURKE ASKED YOU!"

"YES BURKE ASKED ME TO FREAKIN MARRY HIM NOW SHUT UP!"

"Christina!"

"MEREDITH!"  
Christina could hear Meredith jumping up and down and screaming for Derek and Izzy.

"MEREIDTH NO! DON'T TELL THEM! MEREDITH!!!!"

But it was too late. Everyone on the other end was yelling 'Seriously' and jumping up and down. Not taking it anymore she slammed the phone shut and threw it against the wall, but regretted it as the phone came down and almost breaking. Staring down at the ring again she knew what she had to do, but wasn't sure if it was the right choice.

---

Callie Torres couldn't believe it. After all the pain and heartache George had put her through he had came out and asked her to marry him. But could she? Could she live with this 'sex machine' for the rest of her life? How did she know that he wasn't just on the rebound from his dad and that this was for real? How did she know that this wasn't just a fluke that he really wanted to marry him? George had left her all alone in the hotel room to stare down at the beautiful ring thinking about her future. How could he of afford this? He was just an intern. Callie didn't even have enough money to pay for a ring this beautiful when she was an intern. But what to say! Did she love him? She had broken up with him because he didn't know what he was doing. Was this a sign that he was now committed. She loved him, but does she love him now? Of course she loved him. He was George and she was Callie. She was there when Meredith broke him. She was there when his father was admitted. She was there everystep of the way until his father had died. He had let her into all the conference rooms. He had let her comfort him. Izzy and Meredith didn't comfort him; she did. But was she ready for this? They had so many things in common but was that a bad thing? In grade school, they always stressed that opposites attract and the some poles repel. Were they going to repel and end up like Derek and Addison? Callie shook her head. She looked over to the desk in her hotel room at her phone. There was only person who she could talk to, and hopefully she wasn't busy.

"Callie? Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"Ya so what's your point?"

"Callie…"

"George proposed…"said Callie quietly.

The line went silent.

"Addison?"

"O'Malley proposed to you?"

"Yes!"

"O'Malley…George O'Malley proposed? To you!?"

"ADDISON MONTGOMERY!"

"Ok sorry. Well…"

"Well what?"

Addison sighed on the other end

"What the hell are you going to do?"

"Addison stop beating around the bush and just tell me!"

"YES OR NO!?"

"Oh," said Callie quietly "That's what you meant."

The line went dead again.

"Callie?"

"I gotta go Addison. Thanks for the uh help,"

"Ok. Just do what you think is right Callie."

Callie slammed her phone shut.

"Ya thanks for nothing Addison."

Callie sat on her bed still looking at the ring. Finally she made up her mind. She knew what she had to do, but was it the right thing to do?

**_A/N: I didn't wnat to put in what I thought would happen b/c then what if the show did the oppostie, then this whole fic would be messed up. So this is a filler. But...i had the idea after the show, but i couldn't post it b/c my beta hasn't seen this epi, everyone was a sleepover that i wasn't invited to, then i left on sunday for Laredo, TX for a golf tournament so ya. Here it is. I'm going to post this exact chapter as a oneshot, but w/ what i think is going to happen...so please read that. OK...well as u know 3+ gets you another chapter and if you don't mind, i'm going to bed because i'm EXHAUSTED._**

**_Read, SLEEP, Review!_**


	8. Don't Make this Go on Forever

**Chapter 8: Don't Make this Go on Forever**

**_A/N: This takes place right after: Walk on Water. I was going to do a chapter before this like a follow up from the last epi... so everthing is the same. George and Callie are married, Burke and Christina are engaged, the clinic was opened, and Mer and Der are on 'the rocks'...ENJOY!!!!_**

Derek helped the woman in the stretcher with numerous head injuries into the ambulance and barked out more orders before they drove away.

"Get this guy a CT and MRI ASAP. Get Dr. Miller on the case I don't care what else he's doing, get him on the case and tell him I said so!"

"Yes Dr. Shepherd."

"Ok GO!"

Derek slammed the door shut to the ambulance and banged on it twice to let the driver know to get going. Turning back around to the scene, Derek ran his fingers through his hair, trying to sort everything out that was running through his head. How could something he loved so much be so deadly? How could something that he and so many other people depended on everyday suddenly turn into a deadly enemy? How come everything in his life keeps on turning upside down in the blink of an eye? Suddenly, there was small tug at his jacket sleeve that brought him back to reality. He looked down to see the small blonde-headed girl that was with Meredith earlier looking up at him with her big blue eyes. Lowering himself to her level, a million thoughts began running through his mind starting with: Where the hell was Meredith?

"Hi." Was all Derek could think of saying to the little girl. But it didn't matter what he said, all the little girl did was keep on tugging at his sleeve.

"Ok ok you've got my attention. I'm now focusing on you. Now, where is that doctor you were with earlier?"

Still, the little girl said nothing, but instead of tugging at his jacket and she started to point over to where a guy was laying on the ground. Derek gave the girl a confused look.

"I'm sorry but…is that guy hurt? Does he need my help? Did that nice lady doctor go get help?"

The little girl shook her head and continued to point over to the man. Derek shook his head.

"Ok I'm sorry but I can't understand you. You're going to need to talk to me."

The little girl kept on pointing over to the guy, ignoring what Derek said. Sighing Derek looked over to the man and tried to figure out what the heck the girl was doing.

"Ok, can you take me over to the man?"

The little girl nodded and let go of Derek's sleeve, running over to the man. But instead of stopping beside the man she ran over to the edge of the dock and looked into the water, pointing down into it. Confused, Derek got up off the ground and walked over to the girl. Passing the man, he looked down to see an almost perfectly sutured leg. He knew those sutures all too well. They were the sutures of Meredith's work. His eyes traveled from his leg to his torso where a Seattle Grace jacket laid across it. Clipped onto the sleeve was an ID of Meredith. Starting to piece everything together, Derek slowly walked over the ledge, fearing what he was going to see looking into the water. He took a quick look at the little girl who continued to point down into the water frantically. Taking a deep breath he looked down into the dirty water. At first he couldn't see anything because of all the debris and blood but finally he could make out a figure. A figure he didn't want to see. A figure he knew all too well. A figure that as he looked at it, made his heart skip a beat. A figure that belonged to no one else but Meredith Grey floating lower and lower into the dark deep-water grave of the Pacific Ocean.

------

Izzy sat inside the car garage of the slowly burning ferryboat. The emergency alarm was ringing softly in her ear. Shaking the annoying noise out of her head, she looked down onto her seizing patient. She didn't know what to do. She had done everything that she could think of and even more.

"Well what the hell are you going to do?" asked the man sitting on the other side of her seizing patient for the hundredth time that day.

Izzy couldn't take it anymore.

"OK COULD YOU SHUT THE HELLUP FOR ONE SECOND? SERIOUSLY! I'M A DOCTOR AND A SURGICAL INTERN! I'VE DONE ALL I CAN FOR YOUR FRIEND HERE! I'M TRYING TO THINK OF WHAT TO DO AND IT'S KINDA HARD WITH THAT STUPID ALARM RINGIN AND YOU! THE SEARCH AND RESCURE TEAM ARE OBVIOULSY TOO BUSY EVEN THOUGHT I TOLD HIM" bellowed Izzy jabbing her finger to the other guy kneeling next to Izzy. "TO TELL THEM THAT HE NEEDS IMMEDIATE CARE BUT THEY DON'T CARE! SO I'D APPRECIATE IT IF YOU'D SHUT THE HELL UP FOR THE TIME BEING SO I CAN ACTUALLY HEAR MY SELF THINK!"

The guy looked at Izzy and blinked a couple times.

"Sorry," he muttered. Rolling her eyes Izzy looked back to the guy whom stopped seizing. Taking a deep breath she began to think again. Suddenly it came to her. Looking down at the guy she tried to go over the procedure in her head. She'd never seen it before and only read about it but it had to be done. Looking from the tool kit to the guy she closed her eyes and tried to remember the textbook page word for word. Opening her eyes, Izzy took a deep breath and reached over to her tool kit and grabbed the drill. The guy watched her every move. Pressing the power button a couple of times, she took out a few screws and put them into the bit. Closing her eyes she again when over the procedure in her head. Taking one last final look at the guy, she put the drill to her head.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" yelled the guy. Izzy looked up at him and stared at him thinking about how to explain it.

"I-I gotta drill holes in your friends head if he wants to live." She whispered. The guy's eyes grew big.

"Oh no you're not putting that drill anywhere near my friend's head1 YOU HEAR ME!? YOU ARE NOT PUTTING THAT DRILL ANYWHERE NEAR RICK'S HEAD!"

Izzy sighed.

"I'm sorry but I have to."

Closing her eyes again, she started to do one of the hardest things that she's ever done in her life.

-----

"Dr. O'Malley I really need for you to tell me where my son is. I won't let Dr. Bailey here touch me with that knife unless I know my son is safe."

George held the mask up to his mouth. He didn't know how he was going to tell the lady that he still had not heard about her son and that he might be…dead. Closing his eyes, he walked over to her and bent down.

"I'm so sorry ma'am but…I've been trying I really have. But you need to understand how hard it is to contact Search and Rescue. At the moment it's pretty much impossible, even thought I am a doctor. Families are trying to find their loved ones too, but right now it's a needle in the hay sack scenario. I've tried but…I have not received word yet on your son."

The woman closed her eyes and sighed.

"Okay, well I'm not going to go into surgery until you tell me that my son has been found. I don't want you to lie I just want the truth. Please can you tell me when you find him?"

George nodded, trying to fight back to urge to yell at her and to tell her that she's stupid. Turning, he started to walk back towards the scrub room, only to be stopped by Bailey.

"You need to lie to her." She whispered. George stared at her.

"Dr. Bailey I-I can't lie to her. Did you see the way she looked at me? There is no way that I can lie to her. I promised her I'd find her son dead or alive and-"

"George stop it. This lady needs surgery and she needs it now or else she's going to die. You hear me? Die! I want you to go back into that scrub room for 5 minutes and then come back and tell her that you have found her son and that he is being transported here. You understand me? This is an order!"

George blinked at Bailey.

"Well what are you waiting for?"  
"What if he's dead?"

"What?"

"What if I tell her that they've found him and that he's alive but really he's dead?"

Bailey sighed.

"George I don't know. All I know is that I'm not going to let this woman die if my life depends on it!"

George shook his head.

"I'm sorry Dr. Bailey but I can't break a promise. I've already done it once and I just can't do it again."

George turned and left Bailey standing at her spot, starting and wondering what just happened.

----

Christina left the locker room fuming mad. How dare Bailey tell her that she couldn't go out to the scene. How dare Burke kick her off the Jane Doe case! How dare he tell everyone in the freakin hospital that they're engaged. Walking out into the courtyard where she flopped down onto the nearest chair. Today had been one of the worst days that there was; and she had gone through a lot lately. Closing her eyes, she tried to think about the worst case scenario. Burke could call of the engagement. Everyone could die and the patient's families could come after them in an angry mob. Meredith, McDreamy and/or Izzy could be dead. Shaking her head, Christina tired to get everything out of her head and focus on the positive. Suddenly, she felt a soft vibrate from her waist. Looking down she saw that it was a 9-1-1 from Burke. Sighing, she got up and ran out of the courtyard. Seeing him only a few hundred yards away, she slowed down and tried to look casual.

"Hey…you paged?" she muttered. Burke nodded.

"I've got some bad news." He whispered.

Christina looked up into his eyes. The dark-brown loving eyes that she loved so much. Now they were filled with concern and sorrow.

"W-What happened?" choked Christina. Burke shook his head.

"Mer-Dr. Grey reportedly fell off the dock. They don't know where she is and Dr. Shepherd is about to jump in and save her."

Christina blinked at him.

"What?" she bellowed. Burke looked taken back.

"What do you mean?"

Christina shook her head and turned and started to run away from him.

"WHERE ARE YOU GOING?" shouted Burke. Christina stopped and turned around.

"I need to know where the hell Meredith is. I don't care whose going to stop me. She's my best friend and my person. If McDreamy is going to jump in and risk his life to save hers then…I need to know where she is and what her condition is." She yelled back, furious. Burke didn't try and stop her. He just nodded his head and turned and walk away. Turning back around Christina began to sprint towards the nearest phone, hoping that her best friend was still alive.

---

Alex walked into an empty patient room and flopped down on the chair. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't let all those people into the ER with doctors running around trying to save people; they'd just make matters worse. It pained him not to know what the hell was going on. It made him frustrated that he didn't know where O'Malley, Izzy, or Meredith was. He didn't know that George was on the verge of lying to a patient. He didn't know that Izzy was about to drill a hole into a live patient's head. He didn't know that Meredith was sinking to the bottom of the ocean seconds away from being dead. All he knew was that Christina was suturing up patients and that HIS patient was going into surgery. HIS patient. He had to know how his Jane Doe was doing. HE had pulled the pylon off of her. HE had saved her from dying. Heck he had even saved her baby from dying. But what did he get? Not even a thanks. Just a 'go back and help families cope while us big doctors do all the work.' Sighing he couldn't' take it anymore. He had to know what was going on with everyone and his patient. Getting up he stormed out of the room determined to get in on that surgery and help save that woman's and her babies life just so he knew that he helped save one person's life that day.

_And I don't know where to look_

_My words just break and melt _

_Please just save me from this darkness _

_Please just save me from this darkness…_

_**A/N: Ya i love that song by Snow Patrol. I know this doesn't do ne thing after the show...but like i don't like...i write something down and then the opposite happens in the show. So this is my take on what's going to happen before ne one does ne thing drastic. PLZ REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3+ will get u another chapter after Thursday's epi!**_


	9. Thank You

**Ch. 9: Thank You**

**_A/N: This chapter is different...this is what i think should of happened the night 'Some Kind of Miracle Aired.' Sorry it took so long to get up...my beta is becoming slow! ENJOY!_**

Everyone stood at the foot of Meredith's bed, watching that fatally disturbing green line run across the screen. No one wanted to say it, in fear that they would be cursing something. Something that doctors never speak about. Something that when brought up, they turn a deaf ear to it, and continue looking through the patient's chart. Something, that they all fear. Something that when they see it, it makes them think…what if it happens to them? The something that they knew was going to happen.

"We…We're loosing her." Spoke the Chief in a hushed tone. No one wanted to say it. They wanted to forget about it but the fact of the matter was they couldn't. They all knew that their worst fear was coming true. They all knew that they were loosing one of them.

---

"No…I'm not dead. This is a dream…I'm just sleeping in the nice warm hospital bed that they put me in after Derek rescued me. I'm not dead."

Meredith sat on the gurney looking back and forth between Dylan and Denny. They didn't want to break it to her. They both knew Meredith was…unstable to say the least. If one of them said that she was not living any more then who knows what she might do. She might go on a blink rampage and kill…no not kill…but unpossiblyhurt them all. Dylan looked at Denny who in turn looked back at him. Sighing annoyingly, Dylan stepped forward.

"Oh no, I know that look. That look is the same look you gave me in the OR when you told me that the oxygen line was underneath my feet. I know that look and that look is telling me that I am dead. But I know I'm not dead because if I were dead I wouldn't be in this blasted hospital. I'd be…in heaven. This isn't heaven. As far as I'm concerned it's hell. Hell where my mother grew up and hell when she told me I was 'ordinary'. This isn't heaven, and I'm going to heaven. There is no way I'm going to hell and there is no way you guys are in hell so don't even dare tell me I'm dead because…I'm not. Denny, please tell this…ass that I'm not dead!"

Denny didn't want to look her in the eyes. She had just finished rambling, and if he looked her in the eyes that would mean….

"Holy Shit. Holy shit holy shit!"

Dylan looked at Denny like he was about to hit him.

"Why didn't you answer her?" he hissed. Denny couldn't look at him or her or anyone. He just couldn't. Telling Meredith that she will never get to see Derek, Christina, Bailey, her mother, the Chief, Joe, George, Callie, and Izzy ever again. He just couldn't do it. All he could do was keep on leaning against the sink and listen to Meredith say 'holy shit' over and over and over and over and over….

---

Derek didn't know what to do. His love, his life, his…DREAM was in there…dead. Of course he didn't know that she was dead, but he knew it. As a doctor, he had the feeling of death over coming him. He didn't want to believe it, but it was true. His life was over and it was all his fault.

"Derek, you may want to hit me right now and tell me to go to hell or anything else but you need to listen to me. If not me, then Addison or Bailey or anyone else, but stop listening to yourself. I know what you're thinking because I've known you that long. I know that you think that Meredith is dead. That she is no longer here and that you can't be with her everyday for the rest of your lives but that's not true. No one in this hospital is dead. No one has crossed over or gone towards he light or whatever. Meredith Grey is still in there, alive. I don't care that her heart has stopped and I don't care that she's as white as those blankets. Hell I don't even know her and I believe that she is alive. You may hate me and Addison and all the other interns or whatever but you know that I am right. Derek you need to believe that she will pull through this. You need to believe that no matter what, she will marry you because she loves you. "

Derek sat there, a tear running down his face. He knew Mark was right. He hated to admit it but Mark Sloan was right. Derek looked over to him, and gave him a weak smile.

"I believe." He whispered. Mark nodded and squeezed his arm.

"Meredith would want you to believe."

Derek looked up through the window to see Izzy standing there, watching Derek. He didn't know how hard this was on her. He hadn't gone through this tough of a year as a first year surgical intern. He didn't' know how they felt, feeling that they were loosing her yet again. Hell he didn't even know half the stuff about Meredith that they knew. Derek looked away ashamed. He loved Meredith, but they…they were her family. They went through everything together. From Katie Bryce to Heather. From the train wreck to the bomb. Derek was just the guy who loved her that was married but them…they were her family and he needed them just as much as they needed her.

---

"Meredith if you could just stop saying 'Holy Shit' for one second, maybe we could…maybe explain this."

Meredith didn't hear a word Denny said. She just sat there, muttering 'Holy shit' for the millionth time. Finally Dylan couldn't take it anymore. He reached out and slapped her across the face. She looked at him, like a deer in headlights.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR?" bellowed Denny. Dylan turned to look at him, fuming with anger.

"What did I do that for? What the hell did I just slap her for? You want to sit here for the rest of your freakin after life listening to that? BECAUSE I SURE DON'T!" Dylan tore his eyes away from Denny and focused in on Meredith.

"You drowned. You let yourself drown in that bay. Sure you fought, but then you gave up. You want to be here. You don't belong there, you…"

Dylan didn't get to finish his sentence on the account of Meredith punching him in the jaw.

"YOU THINK I WANT TO BE HERE? I WANT TO BE BACK THERE WITH DEREK AND CHRISTINA! SHE TRIED TO TELL ME SOMETHING THIS MORNING, BUT COULDN'T. I'M HER FREAKIN PERSON AND YOU HAVE GUTS TO STAND THERE AND TELL ME I'M DEAD??!!! YOU TRY FIGHTING IN THAT DAMN WATER! YOU TRY STANDING THERE, TREDING THE WATER, WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO COME AND SAVE YOU! BUT NO, _YOU_ BLEW UP! AND YOU DIED FROM COMPLICATIONS OF A HEART. NEITHER OF YOU STOOD THERE, WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO COME AND SAVE YOU AND END UP HAVING NO ONE EVEN KNOW YOUR GONE!"

Meredith by this time was hyperventilating with tears streaming down her cheek.

"I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE! I WANT TO BE WITH MY KNIGHTIN SHINNING ARMOR! THERE ARMOR. IT'S NOT WHATEVER, IT'S KNIGHT IN SHINNING ARMOR! I WANT TO GET MARRIED TO DEREK AND HAVE CHRISTINA MY MAID OF HONOR! I WANT TO GROW UP, BE A HEAD NUERO AND MAYBE EVEN BE CHIEF OR IF ALL ELSE FAILS, BE AN ATTENDING WITH DERK AS CHIEF. BUT NOW I CAN'T BECAUSE BOTH OF YOU HAVE THE BALLS TO TELL ME I'M DEAD! I WANT TO GO BACK, I WANT TO LIVE AGAIN, BUT NO I CAN'T!"

Dylan and Denny stood there watching her, struggle to breathe.

"Well…then go." Spoke Denny. Meredith looked at him like he was the cure for Cancer.

"Go back? Your telling me just to go back? IF-"

"GOD DAMMIT MEREDITH SHUT THE HELL UP FOR A MINUTE AND LISTEN TO THE GUY!" shouted Dylan, holding his jaw. Meredith glared at him, as Denny continued.

"We all have that feeling of ' Who cares' We all wonder if anyone would notice if I died. But you, you realized, that you have a life back there worth living. You realized that you love Derek and you want to be with him, and never leave him. You realized what love and life is really about."

---

All the attendings stood there, watching the line run across the screen.

"What's her temp?" whispered Bailey.

"92." Answered Burke softly.

The Chief and Bailey looked at the screen and saw that Burke was right.

"All right, push another epee." Ordered the Chief. Doing so, everyone waited for change in the heartbeat.

"Still nothing." Sighed Bailey turning away. Suddenly, the door was wrenched open as Christina stormed into the room, stopping at the sight of Meredith.

"Christina." Said Bailey, wondering either to kick her out or let her stay. Burke walked over, and closed the door behind her.

"Dr. Yang, she's…there's been no change." Said the Chief, trying to break the silence. Christina made no motion to acknowledge any of their presnce. All she did was stand at the foot of the bed, looking at Meredith's pale face, listening to the monitor and her flat-line sound.

"Try again." She muttered. Everyone looked at her.

"Wh-What?"

"Try again!" she said again, this time louder and withmore force but no one did anything.

"Dr. Yang…Christina…we-we've tried everything we could do." Said the Chief, trying to reason with Christina. She didn't hear a word he just said, and pushed her way over to the drawer with all the medicine in it. Burke tried to pull her away, but she just fought back.

"Christina." He hissed forcefully. Christina didn't listen and continued to fight.

"Christina, she's…gone. There's nothing you can do. It's time to say good-bye."

"NO!" shouted Christina. She continued to fight and wouldn't believe it. "NO! SHE'S NOT…"

Finally she stopped resisting and looked at Meredith.

"She's my person and I never got to tell her that we're engaged. I never got to tell her that….no matter how much she gets on my nerves and makes me sick that I will always be there for her. We understand each other with the mother things and we understand relationship problems. I just wanted to tell her this one thing and now…and now I can't because she's…gone." She whispered. Everyone just stood there, watching Christina have one of her last moments.

---

Meredith sat on the bed of the Trauma room staring at Dylan and Denny.

"So, I've figured out the 'meaning of life' or whatever. What-What does this mean to me?"

Dylan and Denny exchanged looks.

"It means, that you might get to go back, if there's time." Spoke Denny. Meredith just stared at him.

"Ok that's it. I've been sitting here listening to you two speak in riddles and rhymes and frankly I'm tired of it. I want to go back and be with everyone. I want to spend the rest of my REAL life with them. I WANT YOU TO STOP SPEAKING IN RIDDLES!"

Dylan stepped forward.

"We were told you only have a certain amount of time to figure this out then…you won't be able to go back."

Meredith shook her head.

"No, no no…You see I have to go back. If you don't let me go back then…"

Denny looked at Meredith

"Meredith…." He said, looking at her symphatetcially.

Meredith looked up at him, meeting his eyes.

"Wh-What do I have to do?" she whispered. Denny looked away.

"I-I don't know."  
Meredith sighed and looked away, tears running down her face. Suddenly, there was a bright light at the end of the hallway that caught her eye. Dylan looked at it then her.

"Go. Run." He said looking at her. Meredith looked at him for a second and slid off the bed. She walked past them and towards the light.

"Are-are you sure?" she breathed. The two men nodded. Meredith sighed.

"Thank you." She said, hugging them both.

Theynodded and pushed her towards the light. She looked at them, then back towards the light and started to walk towards it again.

"Oh and Meredith!" yelled Denny, right before she crossed over. She turned back and looked at Denny.

"What?" she asked half annoyed.

"Tell Izzy that…I love her."

Dylan rolled his eyes.

"GO!" he yelled.

Meredith nodded and crossed over, hopefully for good.

---

Derek looked up at the door. Still, nothing. No one would tell him what was going on, and to tell the truth he was about to go in and demand what was going on. Suddenly, the doors between the ER and the hospital burst open revealing Izzy, George, and Alex. Derek looked up at them, a total mess.

"Nothing. They won't tell me anything." He said, turning back to the door. Suddenly, it opened and Derek blinked a couple times to make sure he wasn't hallucinating. Luckily, not only him, but Izzy, George, and Mark all did double takes as the 4 doctors came out of the room with sullen faces. Derek climbed quickly to his feet and headed towards the Chief. Seeing Derek come towards him, the Chief stopped and tried to put together the right words. He could feel Bailey, Addison and Burke behind him, their hearts beating as fast as his. No one wanted to tell him that no matter how hard they tried, they couldn't save her. No one wanted to tell him that one of their favorite interns was gone. No one wanted to tell him, that the love of his life wouldn't be able to sleep next to him anymore. No one wanted to tell him that Meredith Grey was dead. Seeing their faces, Derek turned away. He wanted to run. He wanted to run into Ellis' room and yell at her. He wanted to punch the crap out of her for telling her daughter that she was ordinary. He wanted to do something other than stand there and have the tears run down his face, as he took in that his love was dead. He could feel the squeeze of Mark's hand on his shoulder. He could feel Izzy breakdown and use George as a support. But what he couldn't feel was Meredith, standing next to him, in his heart, and being there with him. All the doctors just stood there, trying to take in the latest death. Finally George broke the silence.

"Wh-Where's Ch-Christina?" he choked. Everyone looked up and looked around them. They just now realized that Christina wasn't among them.

"She's probably saying goodbye." Whispered Burke. Derek looked up into the Trauma room, but what he saw surprised him. His eyes getting wide, he pushed his way, past the doctors, not caring that he shoved a few and that they gave him dirty looks. All he wanted to do was get inside the Trauma room. Taking a step inside the cramped room, his eyes shot immediately towards Meredith. But what he saw wasn't the Meredith that was pale and blue and was hardly breathing. This was the Meredith with her color back. This was the Meredith who had the tube taken out of her throat and had a steady heartbeat. This was the Meredith he knew and loved. He saw Christina watch him, as he made his way over to her. Looking down upon her, he smiled. Her eyes were barley open, but he knew that she could see him. He bent down and kissed the top of her forehead, brushing loose hairs away from her face. She smiled at him and he smiled back.

"She hasn't really spoken. She just said 'ouch' a few seconds ago." Said a tear-filled Christina. Derek nodded, but didn't care. His Meredith was awake. He bent down and kissed her again.

"I love you. I will always love you. You are my world and my life. If you died, I would have died too. I love you Meredith Grey." He whispered. She looked up at him through those half-open eyes, trying to say 'I love you too' but he knew what she was saying just by the look in her eyes. Suddenly, everyone entered the room, with a lost for words. Derek looked at them and smiled and moved out of the way so they could all coo over her.

----

Later that night, Derek made his way towards Meredith's room. On his way, he met Addison, who was standing at the nurse's station.

"Hey." He greeted softly. She smiled at him and turned back towards Meredith. He joined her, leaning up against the desk, watching Christina and Izzy interact with Meredith.

"Addie, I'm sorry." He finally said after a few minutes. Addison tore her eyes away from Derek and looked at him.

"What do you mean Derek?"

Derek sighed and looked at her straight into the eyes.

"Addie, I loved you. Those 11 years were great, they really were, but…I…"

Addison nodded

"You never loved me like you love Meredith."

Derek couldn't look at her. Instead he looked at his shoes and nodded.

Addison sighed.

"I know. When I saw you outside that Trauma room a mess, I knew. Derek we loved each other. Those 11 years weren't a waste of our time. We tried and it didn't work out. Now you can be happy with Meredith and maybe even get married to her. But, I will never stop loving you Derek."

Derek nodded.

"I will always have a place in my heart for you too Addison."

They shared a quick hug, just as Christina stepped out of the room.

"Should I go back in there and tell her that your breaking up with her McDreamy?" asked Christina, wiping away a few tears.

"Christina!" hissed Izzy, hitting her.

"What?" she asked trying to defend herself.

Derek didn't pay any attention to the two interns as he quickly broke away from Addison and ran into the room, leaving the three girls in a fit of glitterlaughter. Seeing Derek rush into the room like that, made Meredith laugh as well. Hearing her laugh for the first time in a while made Derek melt. He slowed down his gait and he kissed her passionately.

"I told you I was your knight in shining whatever." He whispered.

"Armor. It's knight in shining armor." She replied, giggling. Derek kissed her again.

"Whatever it is, I'm always going to be there for you."

Meredith nodded.

"And I'm glad for that."

Derek smiled and sat down in the chair. Meredith watched him and sighed.

"Derek-"

She started, but he put his finger to her lips.

"Shhhhh you need your rest."  
He carefully climbed up on her bed and wrapped her in his arms and she fit into his figure. The two of them laid there for a moment enjoying the warmth of each other.

"Yes." She finally said after a while. Derek lifted his head from the pillow and looked at her.

"Yes what?"

Meredith sighed and turned towards him.

"Yes Derek Shepherd I will marry you."

Derek's face lit up and kissed her deeply.

"Being 'gone' made me realize what life is really about. I realized that if I had died, that moments of each other weren't enough. Derek I want to be with you every moment of my life. I want to have children, grow old, and finally die together. Derek, I want to be your wife."

Derek smiled and kissed her too.

"And Meredith I want to be your husband."

The two of them laid there smiling at each other. Looking over to the doorway, Meredith thought she saw Denny and Dylan leaning against the doorframe winking, before walking away.

"See told ya she learned." Hissed Denny.

"Shut up cowboy." Replied Dylan before disappearing. Smiling, Meredith shook her head, and leaned back onto Derek's chest.

"Thank you for not dying Meredith." He whispered into her hair.

"Thank you for being my knight in shining whatever Derek."

The two of them, laid there, thinking about their long and full life ahead of them, knowing it was going to be the best 70 years of their life.

**_A/N: I know some of this sounded like the show...but o well. Umm...this was the last chapter. Sorry I didn't give you any notice but...i don't have time to write anymore...and w/ the lack of reviews..i feel like this is a waste of my time also. So...this is it. Actually...there will be an epilouge which is forming in my mind right now. This started out as a BANG thing...but sorry it turned into MERDER...that was unintentional. O and also..i made up 'unpossibly' b/c can u hurt some1 if they're dead? So yes...look forward to an epilouge!_**

**_REVIEW!_**


	10. Author's NoteEpilouge

**_Authors Note:_**

Ok well my original plan was to update a Wedding Chapter as an epilouge, but considering it's almost the end of the yr and i missed school b/c of golf regionals and a bunch of other stuff. I had tests, quizzes, and about a monutain and a half high of hw...i never got aorund to it. So...last chapter was the end. sorry guys. partly b/c...i felt as if...u didn't want another chapter. I only got 1 review last chapter. and so...i was going to dedicate the last chapter to you: LOSTKATY!!!! I LUV YOU!!!!!!!!!1

so yes...this is the end of: Where did my life go?...keep a look out for an update on: It's A Hard Not Life. School ends in...yes 8 DAYS!!!!!! and so, updates will b coming in soon and yes...this other fic will b ending soon.

THANKS TO ALL MY REVIEWERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!:

(especially) LostKaty: b/c i could always count on a review from you to make my day and put a smile on my face:D

THANK U EVERYONE WHO READ!!!!

PEACE OUT Y'ALL!!

if u ever want to e-mail me or aim: or phoenixgod22 OR rustylocks09


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